What is Faith?

Good morning! It is a beautiful day and the sun is shining! I am going to take advantage of the cooler temp and mow the grass but wanted to take a few minutes and put my thoughts into writing.

As you may be able to see from the post title there has been a little thing on my mind lately and that is FAITH. Not such a "little" thing after all! The Bible says that if we can just have faith even the size of a mustard seed. A mustard seed is small, tiny in fact. I have been drawn to this fact several times this past week in my devotionals, scriptures and posts from some other blogs that I read. God, are You trying to tell me something here??!! Yes, I believe He is!

I did a little checking about the mustard seed and it turns out that even though it is small, once it is planted it takes root and becomes one of the biggest of trees. As I reflect on what that has to do with faith I realize that even if my faith is small, if I can just hold onto it even by the tips of my fingers it will take root and grow until there will be no denying that it exists in my life, there will be no doubt because the branches will be growing and wrapping around every aspect of my life, every issue, every heartache, every moment of joy, EVERYTHING!

I realize that I have actually had faith my entire life. For instance, I automatically had faith that my every need would be met as a child because I had faith in and trusted my parents that they would do that for me, as I transitioned into a young adult I had faith in myself that I could provide for myself and survive in the world, as a young mother I had faith that I would be a good mother, I had faith that I could take great care of my babies even though I had never been a mother before, as a wife I had faith that I would be a good wife, a good companion and a good support even though it was all "new" to me. I have had faith that everytime I went out to start my car it would start unless, of course, I had forgotten to put gas in the tank or something silly like that. I had faith that every time I flipped the light switch the lights would come on, turn on the faucet the water would be there, and on and on I could go. So, the question that stumps me is if I can have faith in all of these things then why have I allowed my faith to be so shaky in trusting the ONE who wants nothing but the best for me, the ONE who loves me unconditionally even when I mess it up, even when I get myself into situations that are absolutely stupid, He never lets it effect the way He feels about me, the ONE who actually was tortued to death because He loved me THAT MUCH??!!

Wow, how foolish I have been. Oh, don't get me wrong, I have "said" the right words and have actually tried to convince Him that I actually had faith, total 100% faith in Him to take marvelous care of me, to rescue me from myself and to provide our every need but all along He knew I was fronting! But the most amazing part is that even though He knew I was "fronting" He actually STILL loved me totally 100% loved me! Even though He knew the words coming out of my mouth and heart were the appropriate words but not words that I truly believed, He still loved me, He still carried me and He has still supplied my every need!

My Heavenly Father, I just want to say that I am sorry for not trusting you enough to have faith in You to take care of me. I am sorry that I have held onto that one aspect of my life. I am sorry that even though I have said I was letting go and letting You take care of things, I still kept my hands on it all. I know how much my parents love me and I know how much I love my own children and Your Word says that You love us even more than that! The fact that You have the capacity to love EVERYONE in this world and that before we even realize our need You already know, well, that just amazes me! I am sorry that I have broken Your heart when You were standing there waiting to take care of me and I overlooked Your outstretched arms and decided that my own way was better. I can't promise that I will always be perfect and that at times I will not try to take care of things myself but with Your help and Your guidance I will promise that I will trust You to show me when I am taking the wheel and give it back to You for I know you have the perfect roadway mapped out for my journey in this life. I love you and I thank you for loving me no matter what!

Until tomorrow,
Beth