Memories In The Making!

Good morning! Praying you all had a wonderful & glorious Resurrection Sunday! I did! Taylor and I started out the day by going to Mom & Dad's church for Sunrise Service. It started at 7:00am!! I was so worried about over sleeping that I didn't hardly sleep at all! But let me tell you, it was SO WORTH IT! It felt like the "old" days. Me sitting there beside my precious Mother watching and listening to Daddy preach! We spent many a Sunday morning just like that! After Sunrise Service we went to the little community center where the women in the church had prepared a wonderful breakfast. After breakfast we went back to church for the later service. Jeff and Bri made it and it was so wonderful for me to be sitting in church with my little family! I have to admit that it was more than a little emotional!

It becomes clearer and clearer everyday that we are all getting "older" and while I know that this is a natural progression of life, I just simply want to dig in my heels and yell at time. I want it to stop! I am not prepared for what "getting older" means. Jeff and I both were moved to tears as we watched Daddy tell the wonderful story of Jesus' life and death. It has become increasingly clear to me that Daddy is not that big, strong man of my youth. Don't get me wrong, he is still a VERY strong man but just in a different way. He can still only make things "just right" the way Daddy's do. He is still the "pillar" of this family. He just needs a little "extra" help now. And Mommy, well, what can I say about the strongest woman I know? It is so clear that she suffers with pain in her body but she does it silently, never complains. I can see it though. I know. I wish I could take her suffering away. I can see the pain in her eyes when she doesn't know anyone is looking. The pain of seeing this wonderful man who has walked along beside her now for many, many years, seeing him struggle to be the man he has always been but life making it more difficult. She is my hero! Mom, you are the one I run to when life overwhelms me, when my heart is broken, it is your lap I lay my head in when nothing else will help. I want to make many more memories with you and Daddy. I want to take in every minute and absorb them into the core of my being!

Getting older is evidenced by the fact that my precious daughter is now 17! She so eloquently reminded me Saturday that I only have ONE MORE YEAR before she will be spreading her wings and flying away! Wow, I just can't believe it! Again, I want to yell at time, "STOP"! Leave me alone! I still have too much that I want to do with her while she is still "mine"! She has wanted her bedroom painted for several years now. Pink and green. One more year. How much time is that in reality that she can really enjoy seeing her room the way she wanted it? Why did I wait? Why did I put it off?

She still has such an innocent heart. She isn't too big to allow her mother one more year to have an Easter egg hunt! She colored and decorated them and then just like all the years before, Grandma and Mom hid them a few times and she hunted and then she hid them a few times and Grandma and Mom hunted! What a wonderful memory! I don't want to waste anymore time! None of us know exactly how much time we have left. Why didn't I realize this a long time ago?

Getting older is evidenced by the deep sound of Taylor's voice. He will be a man in a few short years! His getting older is evidenced by the fact that he didn't REALLY want to participate in the Easter egg hung, but he did. Thank you buddy for humoring Grandma, Grandpa and Mom! It's evidenced in our very "mature" conversations about religion, politics, history and life in general. I have a little more time with him to correct what I have done wrong, what I have missed.

To Bri, I can't change what I have or haven't done in the past but I promise from this point forward that I will do my best to make many WONDERFUL, HAPPY memories with you! To not put off tomorrow what can be done today! We may technically have only ONE MORE YEAR but you will ALWAYS be my little girl, my Angel Face and no matter how old you are, where life may take you, I will ALWAYS be your Mom!

To Taylor, I vow to make things better than they have been. I promise to turn off the tv and just "talk", to take walks with you, to work on helping you have a healthier lifestyle so that you will not have to worry about your health and just enjoy being "normal". I promise to be better than before!

To my family, I love you all so much, beyond what I can even explain and I am so THANKFUL God has blessed me with you! We may not always be the "perfect" family but what family is? And why would be want to be perfect? Because the journey of life is what makes us who we are, what has made us the loving, kind and forgiving family we have been and always will be!

To Joyce and Ernie, I love you both just because.... What is blood? Love is all that matters and we know that you both love us just as though we were your own! Always know that we love you! I promise to be better. I promise to always love you and be there for you!

As I continue this journey of change, I commit to myself that I will live, love and forgive like there is no tomorrow! I will make many memories with those I love and hold them close to my heart!

Until tomorrow,
Beth