It's A Beautiful Sunday.....

I think I'll head outside for awhile and smile!!! (borrowed part of the lyrics from a song somewhere!!) No, but really, it is a BEAUTIFUL Sunday! It has been so rainy and "cool" that I was beginning to wonder if the weather was confused and thinking that instead of April showers bringing May flowers it would be something like May floods bring out June bugs!

It is hard to believe that we are on the downward turn of May which leads me closer to my beautiful Bri being a S-E-N-I-O-R! No, No, No, No, No!!!!!!!! Not that I want to hold her back or anything, I just want to slow things down a bit! I didn't realize that time was passing by so quickly and that my opportunity to treasure every moment with her still "under" my wing would soon be coming to an end. Yes, I know, she will always and forever be "mine" but she won't always "need" me as she has needed me before. I am sure that I will get to a place of peace and our relationship will always remain strong. I am thankful for her. She has been a true joy and blessing to me. I am thankful that out of all of the "daughters" in the world, God gave me you, my sweet Angel Face!

It's been an amazing week. It has been one that brings true appreciation for what you have, for your health and for your loved ones. One of my cousins passed away this past week and while he was much older than myself, it still saddens my heart. Gone too young. Things I am sure that he still wanted to do with his life.

It has been a week of showing me that people aren't what they pretend to be. I was blind sided again this week and so the wound is gapping open again. It seems as though it is beginning to heal and then another blowing of the wind, another turning of the tide and it is opened again, seeping pain, frustration and yes, anger. I am angry that this "garbage", this "whirlwind" has been able to bring about the devastation and destruction of a family that had previously been so close, so loving, so forgiving, obviously an illusion if only a small wind can rip it apart as though ripping through a delicate flower, a blosoming butterfly. Will it ever be the same? Will it ever be ok? No. It will never be the same. At some time in our lives we may be able to figure out a "new" normal but never the same. I have heard many times that you can't turn back the hands in time, a word spoken cannot return to the mouth as unspoken and now I fully understand what it means.

We can try. That's all we can do. Actually, I can try. I am only responsible for myself and cannot no matter how much I would like to try, I cannot take on the responsibility of someone elses actions, thoughts & desires. So, I will try. I will try to be the best I can be. I will try to forgive and forgive again. I will try to remember that revenge is not mine for the taking and I must fully rely on God to take care of it all.

Until tomorrow,
Beth